


Tell Me What You Mean

by Unforth



Series: Kinktober 2020 [12]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Body Worship, Declarations Of Love, Hogwarts Seventh Year, Hurt Remus Lupin, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining, idiots to lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:02:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27048418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unforth/pseuds/Unforth
Summary: There are so many things that Sirius can't say to Remus, but at least he can help heal him once the full moon has passed, and touch him minimally as long as he's careful, and study with him to pass their NEWTs...it's enough....he's been telling himself it's enough for years......maybe one of these days, he'll believe it...Kinktober Day 13:Body Worshipor spanking or frottage
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Kinktober 2020 [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1947886
Comments: 8
Kudos: 70
Collections: Kinktober 2020





	Tell Me What You Mean

**Author's Note:**

> NOTE: I am NOT tagging this underage because I envision it as being near the end of their seventh year (hence the NEWT studying) and therefore they are both 18. Also, because I said so. They're 18. 
> 
> Wolfstar was one of my first ships, and probably the first non-canon pairing I ever sought out content for, though back at that time (2005 - 2007) for me that meant I bought Japanese doujinshi, I didn't start poking around English speaking online fanfic circles until 2013. So here, have some soft Wolfstar.
> 
> This ended up...much more feelsy...and way less body worshippy...then I was originally envisioning...but I'm not unhappy with it as a story so I guess I'm just gonna roll with it?
> 
> Note that I skipped day 12 of Kinktober because all three prompts (feet, shotgunning, and dacryphilia) squick me to different extents.
> 
> Written for Kinktober 2020. You can see the full Kinktober prompt list here: <https://twitter.com/kinktober2020/status/1292137619640459272?s=20>.
> 
> You can see my planned out list here: <https://unforth.tumblr.com/post/630614210701819904/alrightgiven-how-ive-felt-in-september-i-dont>. 
> 
> Unedited. Not Brit-picked, either. I've watched a LOT of BBC shows in my day but I'm prepared to guarantee that anyone really up on Britishisms would tear this apart. Sorry...but not sorry...don't read it if you're the type to be sensitive to that.

Gently taking up Remus’ arm, Sirius eyed the multitude of scrapes and nicks and gouges that criss-crossed the ruddy skin, themselves overlapping years of wounds that hadn’t been adequately tended and had left scars. Anger bubbled in his chest, that Remus had been hurt, that no one had cared that Remus was hurt, but there was nothing he could to heal those past wounds. The present ones, though, he could repair, and he’d done extracurricular work in the infirmary expressly so that he’d be able to. There were so many cuts he wasn’t sure where to start, but finally he picked one at random, pressed his thumb into it, applying pressure down its length. Damaged skin itched against the sensitive pad of his finger, and after he’d passed the cut was gone, not even a smear of blood to show where it had been. 

When Madam Pomfrey did this for Sirius, it’d hurt, and then felt like ice jabbing into his veins, and he could have sworn he felt his skin being stitched back together as though a needle was being drawn repeatedly through his skin.

When Sirius did this for James, he wiggled his nose and giggled and said it tickled; once he’d even sneezed. 

When Sirius did this for Peter, he cried and screamed, because of fracken course he did, it was Peter, and God forbid he find even thirty seconds of forbearance when faced with discomfort.

When Sirius did this, exactly  _ once _ , for Snape, Snape had cursed him out all the while, flinching every time they were touching, not that that was anything new, Snape usually reacted to Sirius by flinching.

When Sirius did this for Remus, he didn’t react at all.

Everything that implied about Remus’ pain tolerance only raised Sirius’ ire. Brow lowered, eyes narrowed, he glowered with pursed lips as he healed another cut, another cut, another. In his mind, each small burst of power that coursed through him as he cast the healing spell was a surge of might he directed at making the people who’d neglected Remus suffer.

Remus’ parents? Conjunctivitis curse.

The kids who bullied him? Bat-Bogey Hex.

Severus bloody Snape? Cruciatus curse, and hang the punishment that using an Unforgivable Curse would rain on his head. Remus was worth some punishment, and Severus Snape wasn’t worth a single damn knut.

Setting Remus’ arm down harder than he meant to, he paced around Remus and took up his other arm.

He could himself to the list of those who deserved punishment, the most deserving of all...he’d had a crush for  _ how  _ long before he pieced together that Remus was a werewolf? How many of those scars on Remus’ arms could have been avoided if Sirius had recognized the truth sooner? That he healed Remus now was the least Sirius could do, the merest of apologies for years of neglect, and--

“I’m sorry,” Remus mumbled. The words and the sadness behind them were so incongruous with Sirius’ dark thoughts that he did a double-take, jabbing an impaled jab wound too hard as he healed it. “You’ve every right to be angry.”

“I’m not angry,” Sirius said, and hell but he sounded  _ furious _ .

“Not only did we lose three evenings of studying to my...condition...but now you’re losing even more time tending to me. You really don’t have to, you know. I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine.” With effort, Sirius modulated his tone, though the objective difference between  _ the verge of murder _ to  _ sounded like he’d just sucked a lemon _ \- which was the best he could manage - was questionable. His attempts to make his handling of Remus’ wounds more gentle went better; turning Remus’ arm up to expose his inner arm, he gently skimmed a finger over a particularly long wound, again, again, again, until it was healed completely.

“I’m used to it,” said Remus with a half smile, and a half shrug, and a half hearted attempt at a laugh.

“ _ You shouldn’t be _ !” Sirius roared. 

Remus flinched.

Because pain? Remus could handle that without a blink, but a single raised voice left him huddled in a corner.

“Sorry, Moony” mumbled Sirius.

“S’ok. Stop. Go study. I’ll be along in a bit. We’ve only got a few days left, of course you - even  _ you _ \- want to focus on school  _ sometimes _ .” Now Remus sounded  _ indulgent _ . God, that was awful, but Sirius schooled his expression to neutrality. 

He wanted to say _ the NEWTs don’t mean a damn thing to me, not compared to you _ , but he couldn’t.

He wanted to say,  _ I don’t want to stop - I want to keep touching you _ , but he couldn’t.

He wanted to say,  _ please don’t make me go away, all I want is to stay by your side _ , but he couldn’t.

So, instead, he growled, “Shut it. I’m doing this, and you’re letting me.”

“Yes, Sirius.”

Remus sounded even  _ more  _ indulgent.

_ Fuck me. _

HIs expression was precious, soft, vulnerable, and he reached across his body to hitch his robes higher up his shoulder so Sirius could reach the scratches beneath it.

_ No - literally, seriously, actually fuck me, Remus. _

Heaving a sigh, narrowing his focus to Remus’ arm and  _ only  _ Remus’ arm, Sirius muttered, “Not mad at you. The NEWTs’ll be a cinch. We can have a study session tonight, all night if you want, but I’m sure you’ve got it in the bag, and who gives a damn how I do?”

“I give a damn,” Remus replied, matter-of-fact and heartfelt. A lump caught in Sirius’ throat, and he strained to swallow it down. By the worst part of his stupid long-term crush was how the most random things Remus said could sometimes knock Sirius for a loop.

_ It’s not a crush if it’s gone on for four years, Black - pretty sure that’s usually called-- _

“Well, you shouldn’t,” said Sirius gruffly. “What the hell difference will it make if I do well on my NEWTs? My parents have made damn sure there isn’t a single wizard business in Europe that’ll hire me.” He couldn’t tell if the shadow along Remus’ shoulder was an incised wound or the curve of his musculature. Running a finger down it, he felt a tingle as the spell tried to activated and rebounded when it found nothing to heal.

That was  _ definitely  _ the cause of the tingle. It definitely  _ wasn’t _ the feel of firm, smooth muscle under his hand.

“Don’t say that, Sirius!”

Though, it still looked like a cut...Sirius had better run his hand over it three or four more times, just to be sure.

“No. Really. I don’t care. Watch me fail. It’ll be awesome.”

_ No! No, that’s taking advantage, and I can’t, I mustn’t. He authorized me to treat his wounds, not...whatever doing that again would be. _

“You do care, and that’s why I’m worried.”

Confused, Sirius rocked back and met Remus’ concerned, earnest - dare he call it  _ tender _ ? - smile. 

“Of course I don’t believe you would want to do well to please your family or to get a good Ministry job or something.” Remus’ smile widened into a grin. “I’m not an idiot. I know you. I’ve known you for seven years. You want to do well just to prove to yourself you can, and to show everyone that you’re not the screw up your parents think you are.” 

Eyes glimmering, smile genuine, cheeks lightly flushed for who-the-hell-knew-what-reason, hair wind-mussed, Remus looked like he  _ meant it _ ...looked at Sirius as if Sirius meant something, mattered at all, had a future beyond being that obnoxious hanger-on crashing on James’ couch.

Looking at Remus  _ hurt _ .

“Well, the joke will be on them.” Tearing his gaze from Remus, Sirius turned his attention back to Remus’ arm. There were no more cuts that he could see...but he’d better be sure. He turned the limb over in his hands, examining it minutely, quashing the competing errant thoughts that intruded as he did so.

_ He’s right, if I did well on my tests, it’d take the piss out of all of them, and then I could-- _

_ Stop it. _

_ God, his long fingers would feel so good wrapped around my-- _

_ Stop it. _

_ It’s just a stupid test. He has no idea what he’s talking about. And I should tell him that, shout it at him until I get it through his thick skull that-- _

_ Stop it. _

_ They’re all right about you, Black - as repulsive as any other member of my accursed clan, just less bigoted about it, and-- _

_ Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop-- _

“Sirius, what’s wrong?”

Jerking his head up, Sirius tumbled back as Remus reached toward him. Dark robe fabric slid down smooth, pale, healed skin, and Sirius couldn’t stop staring.

“Sirius?”

“Nothing! It’s nothing!”  _ I’m nothing! Stop looking at me like that! _

“It’s clearly not  _ nothing _ , you’ve been out of sorts since we met up. Are you worried Madame Pomfrey will be angry that you’re doing medicine in the arboretum? Did your mum send you another Howler? Did Snape piss in your breakfast? Did--”

“It’s  _ you _ !” snarled Sirius.

Remus’ worried expression crumbled into pained, sorrowed chagrin, and Sirius discovered he could in fact hate himself  _ even more _ .

“Not like that,” Sirius mumbled, hanging his head. “I just need...I mean...lay off, okay? I’m fine. Everything is fine. I’ve got a plan for after school. However I do on NEWTs...is how I do. I’m not worried about me. I’m worried about  _ you _ .”

“Worried...about me?” Remus echoed, as if the concept was so novel that it had never occurred to him.

“Forget it,” snapped Sirius. As if Remus needed Sirius to point out that of the two of them, Remus was  _ far  _ more likely to run into difficulty once school was over. “Are there cuts on your back? Take off your robes. I’ll heal them.”

“You don’t have--”

“So help me, if you say I don’t have to, I will cut you, and then I’ll heal that  _ too _ . Don’t you dare say that I shouldn’t when...when…”  _...when this is all I have, the only tool in my arsenal, a superficial balm to alleviate my guilt that I can’t do more. _

“There are cuts on my back,” Remus allowed, hitching his robes over his head and pulling his shirt up. 

Rising, dusting his bottom off, Sirius circled to Remus’ back. The arboretum was lovely, calm save where Whomping Willow was using its branches to play a complex slapping game. Remus sat on a stump, shoulders hunched, shade protecting his sensitive eyes and fair skin from the bright sun of a fine late spring day. He was so beautiful and vulnerable...he was in so much danger...and Sirius was such a useless lump...but there were many cuts on Remus’ back, and at least Sirius could…

With soft touches, Sirius healed Remus, cut by cut. Scabs flaked away as he works, some leaving beads of blood behind, others revealing now-whole skin. A breeze passed and Remus shivered, his skin twitching beneath Sirius’ finger, a soft sound stuttering out as he exhaled. It must be a reaction to the cold, but Sirius could imagine it was a reaction to his touch, and that was dangerous, and he hated how it fired his imagination. He had to distract himself, had to find more than just healing to occupy his mind. Fishing around in his mind, he grasped for the first words that formed into a sentence and popped them out his mouth before he could convince himself not to.

“What if we got a place together?”

Remus went stiff beneath his fingers.

“After school ends, I mean,” Sirius continued in a rush. “Like, I’ve been thinking, I can enchant some documents so I’ve got enough cred to get a muggle job.”  _ Abort, abort, this is a terrible idea!  _ “And while I’ve been staying with James over breaks and stuff...that’s not forever.”  _ You know what’ll be worse than being Remus’ roommate in a room with four other boys?  _ “You’ll have trouble getting a place solo, considering - wolf - but if even one of us was there?”  _ Being Remus’ only roommate!  _ “Like - who needs Prongs, when you’ve got me to keep your loony Moony ass in line?”

“You’ve already spent plenty of time taking care of me.” Remus sounded wistful and Sirius would have given a sack of galleons to understand why. “I couldn’t impose.”

“Imposition nothing!” said Sirius huffily. “You get a damn job and pay half-rent like anyone else would.”

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it. What job will you get that lets you miss days to keep a werewolf in line? How many times have I hurt you or James when it was only one or the other of you. It’s a kind offer, but...like I said. You’ve helped me enough. You don’t need to keep caring for me.”

“I don’t give a rat’s titties what you meant!” Sirius burst out. “I  _ want  _ to care for you.”

And he froze, a cut half-healed beneath his finger.

Remus twisted to blink astonishment at him.

“I shouldn’t have said that,” Sirius muttered, scrubbing his free hand over his face and finishing the healing job.

“You sound like Hagrid.”

“And  _ you  _ shouldn’t have said  _ that _ .”

“What shouldn’t you have said?” asked Remus. Like he didn’t know. Like he was genuinely curious. Sirius goggled at him. “That we could live together? That I’d be able to get a job? That you’ve spent actual time thinking about rat’s breasts enough to use the phrase as an insult? Be specific, because I’m truly confused right now.” 

Sirius shook his head. He needed to be in motion. He needed to act. He needed to heal...but there were no more cuts on Remus’ smooth back, the central line of his spine defined by a shallow divot and the slight knobby protuberance of his vertebrae. His trousers hugged his hips, two dimples just peeking out over the waist band. Every breath swelled Remus, made his shoulders seem wider and his waist seem narrower, and Sirius shook his head again to keep from staring. He wanted to watch. He wanted to touch. He wanted to hold. He wanted to kiss. He wanted to--

“Or was it that you shouldn’t have said you want to care?” asked Remus, his tone unreadable. Sirius shook his head a third time. “Because that implies you don’t currently care, but you think you ought to, and I don’t know how many times I can explain to you,  _ you don’t have to _ .” Sirius jaw dropped.  _ That  _ was Remus’ conclusion, based on this conversation, based on  _ seven damn years _ of friendship? “I’ll be all right, Sirius, I’m always all right.”

_ Astonishing...I’ve managed to fall for the one person who is dumber and has even less of a sense of self-worth than I do. Fantastic work, Black. Prongs is gonna laugh his ass off when I tell him about this. _

_ I should let him think he’s right. _

_ I should drop this. _

_ I should make a joke and suggest I can’t heal any of his other injuries without things getting risque and then flee toward the castle. _

But Remus looked so hurt, so sad. His words had been chosen so carefully, his tone kept so flat. Remus’ physical wounds were bad enough, but his emotional ones? Sirius couldn’t heal those, and he couldn’t bear to exacerbate them.

“I do care,” he mumbled, eyes fixed on a swaying blade of grass at the base of the tree trunk Remus sat on. “Seriously, Moony.” A sweep of black fabric briefly obscured his view, told him that Remus was moving, but he didn’t dare look to watch. “If you don’t want to live with me, that’s fine.”  _ And by ‘fine’ I mean depressing as hell _ . _..clearly he and I learned similar definitions of ‘fine’ at a young age and now can’t help but deploy it at all manner of inappropriate, utterly appropriate, moments.  _ “But don’t say you’re doing it for  _ me _ , as if you think that what I want is for you to go off your own to do fuck-knows-what until some Auror decides they’ve gotta hunt you down.” Lips compressed in a melancholy line, brow furrowed, Sirius closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “That’s not what I want, Moony...Remus...not at--”

Arms enfolded him, weight landing against his front. Startled and unprepared, Sirius fell back, landing to lie amidst the soft spring grass, the blue sky gleaming overhead as tatters of clouds scuttled by...until Remus leaned forward, blushing and stammering, obscuring the view, backlit as though he had a halo. 

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to...I can help you up, if you want!”

“I’m good, actually.”  _ Not fine. Fine is a lie. But good...having you over me?...is really good… _

“...do you mean it?”

“What, not gonna offer me a list of possibilities this time?” asked Sirius. Remus shook his head. “Well, then, guess I’d better do it for you.” His cheeks were bright in a way that had nothing to do with the sun, and his expression looked... _ hopeful? _ “Yeah, I’d dig living with you.” _ Happy?  _ “Yeah, I’d expect you to pay rent.” _ Expectant?  _ “Yeah, I’d find a job, and I’d  _ force  _ them to accommodate my taking the full moon off, blame my period or something.”  _ What the hell is actually going on right now?  _ “No, I haven’t thought about rat’s tits for a single damn second, it was just what popped out.”  _ Why did he tackle me?  _ “And yeah, I’m worried about you.”  _ Am I allowed to consider...am I allowed to also be hopeful, if that  _ is  _ hope on his face?  _ “Yeah, I care about you, Remus...I care so much.”

“Like...care-care?” asked Remus, like he still didn’t believe it...like he  _ desperately  _ wanted to believe it.

_ Moment of truth, Black, idiot - I’ve seen that look on the faces of at least a score of girls who’ve asked me out and then seen the way it falls when I say  _ nope _ and either I’m wrong and it’s all wishful thinking or I seize the moment and see what happens and if I’m wrong I can always laugh it off and tell him it’s what he gets for sticking his face in mine like that. I might never get another chance like this and I’ve already said so much more than I should have and he hasn’t said word one that suggests I’m barking up the wrong tree, so-- _

Surging off the ground, Sirius leaned up, grabbed the back of Remus’ head, and pulled him down into a rough kiss. For an awkward moment, Remus was stiff against him, and Sirius knew he’d blown his one chance completely and utterly...and then a soft, wounded noise puffed out of Remus’ mouth and onto Sirius’ lips, and Remus moved against him - not away, but closer, shifting his head to bring their mouths closer together. Gentle warmth radiated outward, but it was swamped by the continued, intense fear that Sirius had arsed up this whole thing. Remus pulled away, lips separating from Sirius’ with a soft  _ pop _ , and blinked down at him.

“So, ‘bout that…” muttered Sirius, looking left and right for escape, licking his lips only to find they tasted of berry balm. “...Remus, I--”

“Shut up and kiss me,” interrupted Remus, and he grabbed the front of Sirius’ robes and hauled him off the ground into a rough, inept kiss. Neither of them had a damn clue what they were doing; lips parted, tongues flicked together and apart, noses bumped, saliva smeared. Remus shifted over him, straddling his hips - oh, that was dangerous, there were some things going on in his nethers that he  _ definitely  _ didn’t want Remus to grok to...except that, with Remus’ crotch over his, it was apparent that Remus had some similar, uh, symptoms. Far from minding, Remus was grinding down against Sirius, encouraging him, licentious and confident... _ actually  _ confident, whereas Sirius only pretended to sexual assurance.

“--I--” he gasped out, as Remus drew back enough to get some air, but a finger to his lips silenced him again.

“Stop, Sirius,” Remus said solemnly. “I don’t want to hear you apologize. I don’t want to hear you pretend to some nonsense like that we’ve had a misunderstanding. I don’t want to hear your bravado or cocksure silliness. I’ve got one question.”

Remus was strong, and serious, and seemed so sure of himself, it was awe-inspiring.

_ Remember when I tried to convince myself this was only a crush? _

“Anything,” replied Sirius, hoarse voice shaking.

_ I am so fucking full of it. _

“Do you really care about me?” Remus asked.

And Sirius could have said...no, haha, just kidding...or he could have nodded...or he could have shrugged and bounced the question back,  _ I’ve said all I’ll say it’s your turn to share _ ...or he could have pushed Remus off him and adjusted his pants and trusted his robes to hide his arousal.

He could have done any of those things, or scads of others.

But he was done with lying, and now that he’d actually said the  _ live with me _ thing, it was so important to convince Remus to go with him.

“To put it mildly,” Sirius whispered, turning his head away. “Love you, Moony.”

“You love me,” repeated Remus, apparently baffled. “You love  _ me _ ... _ you _ love me?”

“Stupid, I know.”

“Is it?” Remus was all bemusement. Sirius would have given a lot to have any idea what was going through his head. “What part?”

“Not the  _ you  _ part, obviously,” said Sirius, rolling his eyes. “So guess that only leaves the  _ me  _ part, right?”

“No,” said Remus with surprising harshness.

“But--”

Remus interrupted him with a kiss, and the hope that Sirius had tried to keep underwraps, over the years, over the last few months of school, since the start of this conversation, even since Remus kissed him back, finally whispered free to glow, hot and liberating, through Sirius’ body.

“But me no buts,” said Remus. About a thousand filthy jokes sprang to mind, but Remus was so earnest, and Sirius was so desperate to hear his conclusion, that he satisfied himself by grabbing Remus’ backside and pulling him down on Sirius’ crotch. “I suppose I  _ could  _ have worded that better, I admire your restraint.”

“Only for you, Remus.”

“...I believe you,” said Remus, apparently reading far more into Sirius’ reply than Sirius had meant.  _ Really? What do  _ I  _ think I meant? Cause it sure sounded like…  _ “And you have to understand - no one puts down the love of my life but me.”

Sirius’ mouth fell open. “Lo...love of... _ what _ ?”

“Yes, you. You  _ can  _ be kind of thick sometimes,” Remus acknowledged as though announcing a generosity. “Yet, I’ve loved you despite it for so long...sometimes I think I love you  _ because  _ of it, when you do something boneheaded and all I can think is how much I want to drag you over to share my bed that night and reprimand you thoroughly for your poor judgement…”

“You’re serious,” muttered Sirius. “You’re  _ serious _ .”

“No,  _ you’re  _ Sirius. I’m Remus. At least we can get  _ that  _ part sorted right off the bat.”

Sirius leaned up and caught Remus in a fierce, quick kiss. “I love you.”

“Apparently so,” said Remus with a thoughtful nod. “I’m truly in shock. I had no idea! And then you asked me to be your roommate...easily the most horrifying thing you’ve  _ ever  _ thought of, all ignorant and supportive while absolutely clueless of what torture that would be for me...except I’ve undersold you, and for once  _ I’m  _ the idiot, because I’ve told myself you were off limits for so long that it never once crossed my mind that my feelings were reciprocated.”

“...but seriously, the  _ fuck  _ does that all mean, mate?”

“It means I love you too, Sirius.” Remus’ face lit with sincerity and happiness, and honest-to-god tears of joy welled in Sirius’ eyes, as if that wasn’t the most embarrassing damn thing to happen to him in  _ months _ . “And I’d love to live with you after we graduate, and I’d love to pay half the rent, and I’d love to trust myself to your four-footed alter-ego when I go Moony, and...love. A lot of love. Forgive me, I’m going to need at least an hour to convince myself this isn’t an hallucination. In the meantime, I think you should convince me.”

“How?”  _ I’ll do anything, Remus, absolutely anything. _

“Heal the rest of my cuts, for starters...there are several on my stomach, and one on my inner thigh, that are really quite troubling, and before I couldn’t...but now, well, please. I think it’d be a delight. And maybe we can...you know...see where things go from there?”

“Oh, I know exactly where it’s going.” Sirius was proud of himself for finally finding enough balance to leer. Remus quirked an eyebrow in me. “In my mouth. The whole thing. You’ve dreamed about tucking me into bed? Sweet Remus, lovely Remus... _ I’ve  _ dreamed about how your come would taste on my lips, and I’m  _ dying  _ to find out.”

“Well, then…” Remus murmured, gaze flicking down to where crotch pressed against crotch, flicking back up to Sirius’ face as he licked his lips. “I can’t let you die.”

_ This is...so much better than anything I’d ever dreamed. _

“It would be all your fault.”

_ He’s so brilliant, funny, quick-witted, strong, wonderful...everything, he’s so everything... _

“Devastating, truly. I suppose I’ll have to relent and allow your chance to savor.”

_...he’s everything to me... _

“I’d be infinitely indebted to you.”

_...and now, I can finally heal him - run my finger over every wound, watch him twitch, hear him moan, as I put him back together... _

“Would you, now? That presents some interesting possibilities…”

_...I can finally worship him, finally show him how much he  _ deserves  _ to be worshipped... _

“I look forward to you exploring every single one.”

_...I can finally be the man I want to be to him. _

“...for starters, if the debt is  _ infinite _ , you can forget me paying half the rent…”

_ I can take care of him. _

“Hey, don’t go crazy on me!”

_ I can protect him. _

“I’ve been crazy all along. What’s remarkable is, you seem to love me anyway. I’d never have imagined.”

_ I can hold him... _

“I do, Remus. I adore you.”

_...and I can be protected by him. _

“Wow. That’s...that’s just,  _ wow _ , Sirius.”

_...just… _

“Isn’t it though?”

_...just...wow. _

**Author's Note:**

> True story this one was supposed to be like 2k of stupid banter, love confessions, body worship through healing all of Remus' cuts, and then frottage, and instead this happened. Is it body worshippy enough? idk. I'm really clad there are no Kinktober police or else this one'd probably be booted from the collection cause the only kinks really on exhibit here is my healthy communication and happy ending kinks.
> 
> Oh well.
> 
> Onward!
> 
> Tomorrow is something completely different, and a fandom I haven't written for since I was like...12...writing self-inserts and wishing I could disappear into a book. Kink is Netorare, fandom is Wheel of Time, and the ship is Rand/Min/Logain, and I'm guessing it'll get MAYBE 10 hits if I'm very lucky, lol.
> 
> Check me out on social media!  
> Tumblr: [unforth](https://unforth.tumblr.com/) (very multifandom with a decent amount of politics/social justice)  
> Twitter: [unforth](https://twitter.com/unforth) (mostly MDZS/CQL, with a splash of multifandom and also a decent amount of politics/social justice, cause sorry, them's the times)  
> Discord: unforth#6748


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